If you’ve ever attended the Landmark Forum, you might remember a point where the forum leader asks a volunteer a question… “Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream – Choose?”    The volunteer then says “Chocolate?” … “Why” … “Well, I like chocolate” … “Sit Down!”.

After a few minutes and multiple volunteers being asked to sit down, I was perplexed.   What answer did this leader want?   Why was everyone failing the choice?   What the HELL was going on?   I am now hungry and want some Ice Cream!

After a period of time, I got it.

There is an inherent difference in how we make decisions and choices.    This is important and metaphoric of so many challenges we face.

Are we stuck in the past or leaning into the future?

A decision is fraught with evaluation of past knowledge, experience, and bias; and our decisions are made through that lens.   (I like Chocolate).  And although experience, like our ego, helps us navigate complex problems in our world, its main job is to keep us safe; and thus will limit options, opportunity and possibility in its quest to align our actions and create CERTAINTY.

And in a class I took at Kellogg from their adjunct professor “Depaak Chopra,” if we can create perfect certainty, meaning guarantee ONE possible response, we eliminate risk and as a side-effect eliminate the other infinite responses.

… and, just maybe, one of those infinite possibilities would be more meaningful and exciting than the one we picked.

So, in choice, the response comes from a different place.    When I eliminate my experience, cognitive debate, and personal bias, I am free to choose.

I become open and vulnerable to a new possibility, a new way of seeing the world, a new experience.   Choice is about something unknown, something creative, something risky.   So how do I want to live my life?

Choice is brave where decisions are fearful.

Choice expands where decisions limit.

Choice creates where decisions protect.

So yes, I attended the Landmark Forum in 2013.   And I still hear a myriad of reasons when faced with a decision or choice.   But now, if conscious, I can step aside from the voices; and based on the issue, I can choose … or choose to decide.

So,  “Chocolate or Vanilla?”  … Choose …

Executing Leadership in the moment

So, when I was the 33rd Maintenance Group Commander, life was lonely. I commanded about 1,100 troops who all lived in a small community in Florida. Because of the small community and its perceived scrutiny, I worked hard to avoid compromising situations. I tried to be positive and upbeat as much as possible, and tried, for example, to avoid getting frustrated or upset while driving, and tried to reflect love and kindness in personal interactions; it was a great exercise in character. Ultimately, I was proud of my command., to this day, one thing happened which brings me shame. Our group sponsored a golf tournament. It was great fun. After the tourney, we had a raffle, which I made sure to purchase plenty of tickets for the charitable benefit. Then the unthinkable happened. We raffled off the grand prize, a Taylor Made brand new R-7 driver ($350). They called my name. WOW! I WON! I never win anything. I got excited, a new driver…AWESOME!

Then I accepted the driver and sat down. As my exhilaration subsided, I realized, I didn’t need a new driver. I was the least needy person in this room. I wanted to re-raffle the driver; but it was over. I was embarrassed. I was disappointed. I realized, that I had lost an opportunity to do the right thing. One moment, to offer it for re-raffle, or give it to the youngest Airmen in the room, or do anything but hoop and holler about winning. After a few minutes, I gave the driver to a young Airmen indiscreetly, but my moment was gone.

So why this post at this time – 8 years later?

An Air Force Academy graduate and retiree, Darryl Glenn, who is running for Senate in Colorado, lost his moment to do the right thing. His ratings are rapidly falling in the polls.

The Denver Post interviewed him and asked him if he had ever been arrested. He said no. He noted he was a military man, and had lived his life with honor and integrity.   Hey Darryl, me too! We joined and retired within one year of each other.

But, the Denver Post showed him an arrest citation from when he was 17. Again, he denied it. He said it must have been another Darryl Glenn.

I can paint or imagine a picture of what really happened, at least it was what really happened to me.

When each of us were 17, we were on track to become officers in the Air Force. The recruiters made it clear that any police interactions might eliminate our possibility of scholarship (for me) or nomination (for him).

Then, I was arrested (well, kind-of). I was cited for being out after curfew, playing video games at a gas station with my buddy after seeing Rocky-Horror Picture Show. (It was two o-clock (or-so) and the policeman interrupted my high-scoring “JOUST” game.) It was VISCERAL and painful, I remember it like it was yesterday. I saw my future lost. I pleaded to the judge, and he threw it out.  Phew…

But then came my interview and the dreaded question… Have you ever been arrested? My response … Ahhhhhh (stalling while deciding what to say), “yes”, I was arrested for a curfew violation. After he smiled, laughed, and made a few notations, my life went on. I received my scholarship, lived my dream, and could cite an amazing career.

However, at nearly the same time in Colorado Springs, my guess is during Darryl’s interview, he said “NO” (Wasn’t this true, his father had thrown out the charge against him).   If he told the actual truth, he might loose his appointment.   Or maybe he already had an appointment, and didn’t want to let his leadership know.  But, I know every three/five years he had to fill out clearance paperwork which always asked if he had been arrested…

My guess is had to protect this “story” his whole life. He thought saying he hit is father after his father threatened his mother might have eliminated him from Service. He probably accepted this belief and deeply hid this truth and created a better story.    Sadly, this lie got him into an institution whose motto is “I will NOT lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate anyone who does.”

Then 30 years later, the Denver Post recreated that original interview or one of many security clearance interviews. “Have you ever been arrested?”  …. “NO” it must have been someone else.   Too bad they showed him his signature.   A week later, Darryl recanted his story, said he had “forgot”.   (Really?!)

That moment,   that moment we could have loved Darryl in his authenticity, loved him for standing up for his mom, relished him as a man of ideals and integrity, a man who could be a great Statesman.

A man who stands up for the weak, disenfranchised, and needy.

But no Darryl, that moment is gone and so is yours.

I just finished a Coursera course on Learning. Why? well, I wanted to give my college attending sons credible information on how to optimize their learning. They aren’t listening, so I thought better to sum-up in a blog. Realize this is a quick recall of the major points. If interested in the intricacies, I recommend the 6-hour course.

To start, learning involves two types of thinking: focused and diffuse. To me, this is like going to the gym. You must “focus” hard on the exercise, then you need to give the muscles time to “consolidate” the change and recover. Learning is similar. You focus on what you are learning knowing you can only hold between four and nine items in your “working” memory, then you take a break or exercise (builds neurons in hippocampus) or sleep, or do something else, and your brain starts to connect and assimilate the information. This methodology highlights that for long term learning, cramming and over-studying doesn’t create efficient long-term memory.

The next step is to chunk. A chunk is created by focus, understanding, and practice. Practice make permanent. I see this as attaching threads to an idea that links it to other ideas that you already know. This allows that item in your working memory to chunk itself to items in your warehouse size long-term memory. Chunks can connect to chunks and you can learn an amazing amount of information quickly. In the book Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer uses chunking to quickly make association with skills like imaging (the queen of hearts killing 10 baby cubs with a diamond tipped ace) to remember card order or memory palaces to place images of information in a familiar place. Chunking is like putting puzzle pieces together that go from one piece to 10 to 100 and weaves them together. The class also bunked ideas like highlighting and continuous reciting of information as “illusions of competence” versus interleaving (learning in different locations), pomodora (25 minute sessions with reward), and recall (use of index cards) as much more effective tools. To sum, moving working memory into long term memory is best done through creating associations (emotions, feelings, visualizations, etc.)

The third part of the program discussed habits like procrastination. The course deviated into strategies to better understand how habits work, and recognizing cues, reactions, rewards, and beliefs that influence them. Most importantly, the course emphasized that procrastination is ultimately about avoiding something we feel as unpleasant. However, scientifically proven, once the activity is started, the pain of it is replaced by pleasure of accomplishment. So often procrastination can be overcome by leaning into the fear.

The final section of the class was about recalling memory, specifically toward test taking. Actually, tests and practice tests are very effective ways of learning. They recommended scanning a test quickly and then starting on the hardest problems. If you get stuck, move to another problem. Then restart with the easy problems. This methodology allows the diffuse part of the brain to work in the background on difficult issues, while the pre-frontal cortex works on the immediate ones. When returning to the hard problems, often the diffuse mode has had time to make connections or pathways to solution or the other questions may have provided information that helps. Other considerations is to turn negative beliefs about testing or anxiety into positive ones, like “I hate tests” changed to “tests challenge me.” Finally, after completing a test, review answers backwards. Try to come at the questions from a different angle or bigger picture. Does this answer seem reasonable to the question asked?

In summary, most of these ideas I had learned through trial and error.   And, learning is a skill that, when optimized, can save us a lot of time and pain.     As a suggestion,  I created note cards for this class using Quizlet; and practiced for the test with it.   Worked well.  Quizlet is cool, and note cards for just about everything has already been made.

When flying the F-15, I had made note cards for all the aircraft systems, procedures, emergencies, and tactics. Prior to testing, I’d pull them out and often surprised how just the tactile feel of the note cards in my hands brought back associations and most of the answers.

Finally, for me, learning is an important part of growth. Hope this information is useful enough to improve your learning as well.

Cheers – Pierre

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